sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
