you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
