I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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