Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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