before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
