she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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