butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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