yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize