He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
