I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
