why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
