So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
