was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
