As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
