Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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