I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
