your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
