dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
