Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
