Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
