You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
