she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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