dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
