i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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