idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
