I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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