I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
