His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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