Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
