Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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