you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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