I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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