If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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