You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
