At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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