it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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