ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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