dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We have started to decorate penises.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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