Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
