The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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