What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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