I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.