Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
