my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
