Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I love you. Go after that dick