yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
this will be a night to untag.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
