Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
