Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
