look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
