see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
