That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
