so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
