We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
