he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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