i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
