Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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