Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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