waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
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i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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