this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
