Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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