3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
