His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize