So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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