how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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