I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
