Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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