Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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